deviant ART

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~harmonic-discordia:iconharmonic-discordia:

is a conspiracy of cartographers  
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Bucket o' Angst

Journal Entry: Wed Nov 7, 2007, 2:35 AM
(Eek! Second attempt at posting this journal: I accidentally posted the silly thing half-written... how embarrassing. :O_o:)

I am so sorry, guys. :( What kind of shitty excuse for a friend disappears off the face of the planet for a few months, makes a big song and dance (complete with top hats, tap-dance numbers and a musical encore) about coming back, and then disappears again? Me, apparently. Feel free to hurl abuse, flames, large blunt objects, etc.

*ducks to avoid wave of flying flaming objects and insults*... So yeah. If y'all - the SheCats especially - are totally pissed off at me, I understand. (I won't be entirely surprised if nobody replies to this journal, either... anyone seeing it turn up in their inbox will go "Harmonic-who?", and delete it. :paranoid:)

Anyway. This will probably come across as an attempt to justify why I haven't been around lately; it's not meant to be, but I figure I owe my watchers/friends/general stalkery types some form of explanation.

I've just recently started at a new job; it's the first full-time job I've ever had, and with my lack of experience and skills and general everything I'm amazed that I managed to get past even the first interview. The fact that I got kicked out of high school probably didn't help much.

The three (four?) months in between getting expelled and getting a job were hell. Deep-fried, extra-crispy Hell on a Stick with sauce and a side order of angstcakes. I laugh now, but daaaaaamn... my mum and me were screaming at each other like a pair of PMS'ing banshees every other day. (Well, really she did most of the screaming and I stuck to the classic Sullen Teenage Glare technique, save for one memorable occasion where we took turns yelling, glaring, or both at each other from across the dinner table. Boy, do I feel sorry for the neighbours. And for my mum's partner. Poor guy had to live with this just about every freakin' night.) And I'd been depressed for a long time by then, even without the getting expelled and the being an unemployed bum and the huge howling banshee-fights.

It was not pretty. It would likely have gotten even less appealing, had I not buggered off to my auntie's house for a couple of weeks. Things picked up after then - I had a couple of very promising job interviews, and me and Mum weren't wanting to kill each other any more (at least, not any more than usual :giggle:). Which is always a plus. And a little while after this I got three job offers within two days (!!!), agonized about which one to accept for a while, and ended up taking the one with better pay and more responsibility.

I'm still not sure I made the right decision, now that I'm two and a half weeks into my new job. I wake up every morning expecting to be fired. No joke. (Though this is probably just due to me being a paranoid bundle o' nerves.) And because I have a job now doesn't mean I have my shit together; it just means my shit is slightly less disorganized than it was when I was an unemployed school drop-out. I'm trying to balance work and family and my art and what passes for my social life, and I honestly don't know how the hell people do it. Most days when I get home all I want to do is sleep. Or mindlessly surf the 'net for Harry Potter fanfiction. (Now if I could do both at once? That would just rock.)

Oh blimey! The paragraphs are getting larger... I'd better bring this journal entry to a close before they multiply and, like, eat the Internet or something. :chew: But anyway. That's my little emo moment out of the way. And to everyone who's stuck with me this far - what, are you crazy? *cough* I mean... thanks a gazillion. You're crazy, but thanksies anyway. Love you all. :love: And will draw you all lots and lots of pretty pictures once I get my Art Mojo back (it's deserted me at the mo, sadly...).

Will try to suck less at posting and commenting and life 'n stuff.
:heart: ~Harmonic

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CLUBBAGE:
:iconthe-art-of-stargate: :iconsnakeheads: :iconthe-shecat-pride: :iconalbus-x-gellert: :iconwerewolf-cinema:

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NEXT KIRIBAN: 2000 Pageviews - note me a screenshot or something and I will seriously draw you ANYTHING. (I can't promise I'll draw it particularly well, but...)

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  • Mood: Depressed
  • Listening to: The Cranberries - I Still Do
  • Reading: Stardust
  • Watching: SG: Atlantis, season 3
  • Playing: World of Warcrack now owns my soul.
  • Eating: Apple crumble
  • Drinking: More coffee than can possibly be healthy...

Devious Comments

love 0 0 joy 1 1 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0

~t0nks:icont0nks: Nov 7, 2007, 3:08:42 AM
I think you've done really well.
Sullen Teenage Glare? I can't do that. I'm the one who screams in our house...... a lot.

--
When you want to fool the world, tell the truth.
~harmonic-discordia:iconharmonic-discordia: Nov 7, 2007, 3:36:45 AM
:hug: Thank ye kindly! And lol... I suck at glaring, but I try anyway. I think I'm physically incapable of looking mean. :paranoid:

--
"I am chaos. I am the substance from which your artists and scientists build rhythms. I am the spirit with which your children and clowns laugh in happy anarchy. I am chaos. I am alive, and I tell you that you are free." ~Discordia
*Maeix2:iconMaeix2: Nov 7, 2007, 5:01:56 AM
Oh dear...that's a lot of things to go through in a short space of time. Poor Harms. :glomp: :hug: :cuddle:

Now I'm even more happy that you found a job...though as you say I imagine it's pretty exhausting. Heck, it's more than I do so a big :winner: for you my friend. And yes, you DO worry too much, but it should ease up after a while *pets*.

Ah, yes the screaming. Always tricky that one. And unpleseant all the way around. :hug: Been there, done that, probably shoulnd't admit it *coughs*.

Silly Kitty, where else would we be? We're right here, and while we obviously can't do much in person at least we can offer a friendly ear and eye (and the occasional Muse attack) *huggles the slightly wild eyed Harmonic*

--
Gabriel: I'm a sensitive snake.
Dr Eliza JS: Do you believe it's OK to be a sensitive snake?
Gabriel: Why, yes I rather do. Would you prefer if I was homicidal megalomaniac like my first children?
*Phoenix-Cry:iconPhoenix-Cry: Nov 7, 2007, 6:00:06 AM
Oh My! I did not know you were kicked out of high school. Not good. Give the job a chance! Making money helps self esteem and all of that. If ya need someone to ramble to who has already been through these years let me know!

--
Daniel: "Uugh...what happened?"
O'Neill: "Well, ya actually won a fight, Danny-boy."
Daniel: "I...uh...I don't particularly remember gaining the upper hand."
Carter: "Neither do I, but you must have."
*Dreams-of-Skies:iconDreams-of-Skies: Nov 7, 2007, 7:47:03 AM
BIG HUGGLES!!!!!

Damn, but I know the feeling at work - I've been in my job 2 years and still expect to get fired any minute *sighs*

Whatever happenes, kiddo, SheCats are SheCats - we look out for our own. :nod: So, you stuck with us! :hug:

--
I'll tell ya a secret - I'm twisted. Want proof? Ok, gimme a nine inch nail to swallow and I'll give you a corkscrew back...
*Apophis906:iconApophis906: Nov 7, 2007, 10:32:25 AM
Wow, kicked out of high school. Well you know you got tons of friends here for support. :nod: So dont you worry about the not being around. Most of us understand stress and pressure and all that jazz. :hug: =D

--
Mongol General:"What is best in life?"
Conan:"To crush your enemies, to see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women."
~pgpalmer:iconpgpalmer: Nov 7, 2007, 2:35:51 PM
I'm happy for you that you found a full-time job. A hard thing to do in this age. I'm looking forward to a steady job myself.

--
"I am a leaf on the wind - watch how I soar."
- Wash, from Serenity.

I like peregrine falcons! My avatar was made by ~nad-avatars.

I am also known as ~Juptile, where I put my Pokemon work.
=karma-k2:iconkarma-k2: Nov 7, 2007, 4:28:23 PM
:hug: It's like Dreams said: Whatever happens, SheCats are SheCats - we look out for our own, so don't go about worrying whether or not we're gonna abandon you because of a bit of silence. We're here for the long term!

I didn't know you were booted out of school. :( Congrats on the job, though! :boogie: I know the idea (and the reality) of it all can be (and obviously is) extremely daunting, but don't give up! You know we're always here for you for moral support and everything. :cuddle:

--
"I'm a Weasley, you know what that means? It means I'm too sexy fo' your art skillz." -- What Charlie, George, Fred and/or Bill Weasley sing (to the tune of that Right Said Fred song) whenever I try to draw them.
~KupoJaycie:iconKupoJaycie: Nov 8, 2007, 12:44:56 AM
Hey, hope things pick up from here. Sorry I'm not the best person to talk to about things, but after exams we'll definately find some time to hang out (when we're not working :), junk food party w/ movies sound excellllllent? ) PLUS you have to send me emails when I move down south to keep me up-to-date. Hopefully it'll be a 2-way thing haha
~harmonic-discordia:iconharmonic-discordia: Nov 8, 2007, 1:47:40 AM
:hug: Thanks a'muchly! *shoos away attacking Muses* Ack! I didn't mean you lot... :giggle:

I'm really going to have to be formally introduced to the Pride's Muses sometime, aren't I? I've only met 'em in passing, though I'm sure they're horr- I mean, lovely little creatures when you get to know them. :D

--
"I am chaos. I am the substance from which your artists and scientists build rhythms. I am the spirit with which your children and clowns laugh in happy anarchy. I am chaos. I am alive, and I tell you that you are free." ~Discordia